How to Handle Aggressive Behavior in Young Children
Samantha Cooper / Thursday, November 11th, 2010 / No Comments »
Play can sometimes bring out the worst in kids. One minute they’re playing nicely, and the next, World War Three has just broken out in the living room.
Hostilities can erupt for all sorts of reasons. In toddlers, it’s often unthinking. A young toddler will act on impulse unless he is diverted or prevented from doing so. He won’t know that kicking someone will hurt. It just seemed like a good idea for the nanosecond it flashed through his head. Young kids sometimes lash out physically because they can’t resolve things in words.
Older toddlers quickly learn that fighting, biting and other kinds of aggressive behavior get them instant attention. It’s negative attention, but it’s better than none at all. Jealousy can also be to blame, as well as a shaky grasp of sharing and cooperation. Losing a game or refusing to hand over a toy can trigger an outburst of violent fury.
Hear in mind that there’s a difference between the odd skirmish, quarrel or squabble, and out-and-out fighting. Don’t rush in at the first sign of an argument. Let them see if they can sort it out for themselves. Fighting and aggression is different.
It’s important to understand the reasons that lie behind fighting and aggression, but it’s equally important to make it clear that you just won’t tolerate it. Any child who gets away with aggressive behavior in the home will get the idea that the same thing is acceptable at her friend’s house, in the park, and at nursery or school.
Fighting and aggression in young toddlers should be nipped in the bud. As soon as your child shows that she is old enough to understand what she’s doing. There’s no two ways about it. Fighting means zero tolerance. When fighting is constantly happening at playtime, you need to make sure your child understands what shared play is all about. After the discipline is over, sit down and play with your kids and show them how to take turns.