Spanking Alternatives: Using Different Forms of Discipline
Olivia Ochoa / Tuesday, September 21st, 2010 / No Comments »
Over the years more research has been coming out about the effects of spanking on the emotional health of children, as well as the consequences on their patterns of behavior. So far, a number of studies have suggested that it is actually counterproductive, and could foster more acting out on the part of the child.
There is a lot of debate over whether or not this is true, but with laws changing in many countries throughout the world (for example, most of Europe has a striking ban), it is important to look at alternatives to spanking, and ways that you can keep yourself from resorting to hitting as a means of teaching.
- Take a deep breath and don’t lose your temper.
Alright, so you have had a long day and it is just one of those nights that you child has unwisely chosen to throw tantrum after tantrum. It happens in even the best children, and it can be enough to drive anyone crazy. For some parent’s, a spanking might be the first instinct, especially if they do something to push you past your limit.
But even if you opt to spank you should never do it when you are angry, and so the best thing you can do is take a moment to get away from them, take a deep breath and calm down. By the time you get back into the room you will be better able to handle the situation, and you are less likely to strike them.
- Establish a place and time for ‘time-outs’.
An old fall back of parental discipline is the ‘time out’. But being inconsistent will make it an ineffective punishment, and may make you feel like it doesn’t work. Try setting a place and an amount of time for transgressions. When those transgressions are carried out, force the time out.
If they get up off of the time-out area, or they throw a tantrum, stay calm and restart the time. Quietly and firmly enforce the punishment, making sure they see that you won’t yield. You will be surprised by how little resistance you meet next time.
- Press that rewards are given for good behavior.
A favorite TV show, a day with a friend, a special weekend afternoon out….these are all things that can be a reward for good behavior. From finishing homework to cleaning their room, these are already responsibilities that we as parents both encourage and demand. Playtime comes after, and if those responsibilities are ignores, especially once you have repeatedly pointed them out, then the reward shouldn’t come.
Taking away privileges is a gentle but effective way of getting your point across. It is also a way to teach your child that they will not get something for nothing, and that if they want something they have to work their way towards it.
Spanking is believed to have a number of negative effects, including teaching that aggressive action is appropriate. This can lead to hitting and other violent behavior, which is a sticky thing to undue. Try one of the tips above next time you find yourself needing to be the disciplinarian.